wowgoldmoney

It’s the same with WoW players — particularly bad WoW players. We
even have names for some of them: ninja, drama queen, lootwhore. Today
on Encrypted Text, we’ll be discussing some rogue-specific types of bad
players, including their plumage, distinctive mating calls, and where
to spot them in the wild.

The Clumsy Rogue

• Identification: This rogue missed out on the stealthy part of
  playing a stealth class. Whether it’s breaking crowd control by
  misclicks, walking into mobs while stealthed, or simply falling off a
  cliff/bridge/elevator/stairwell into a group of angry murlocs, this
  rogue is the equivalent of a ninja walking around in hobnailed boots.
  With a cane. Banging on cymbals. I’d say I’m a bit of a Clumsy Rogue
  myself, and my guildmates would probably agree as soon as they run back
  to their bodies
• Mating call: "Oops. Just let me die! Just let me die!"
• Habitat : Any instance that requires moving around the edge of
  things, moving outside a certain radius, or not running directly into
  your teammates (Gruul.)

The Fearful Rogue

• Identification: This rogue is the polar opposite of the Clumsy
  Rogue. Instead of being inept at stealthing, he’s good … too good. As
  in he doesn’t want to ever come out of his hiding place. This rogue
  stealths to every fight, only starts attacking when the mob’s been
  tanked for about thirty seconds, and vanishes the moment the mob even
  looks in his direction. He’s also conspicuously absent during buffs and
  screenshots. There’s a nice hybrid of the Clumsy Rogue and the Fearful
  Rogue out there that likes to stealth past mobs to explore, and then
  suddenly walks into something and pulls half the instance
• Mating Call: "I thought I was getting close to pulling aggro."
• Habitat: The Blackwing Lair suppression room, and doing any quest
  that requires you to just pick up objects hidden in caves/camps/nests.

The Look At My Crits Rogue

• Identification: This guy (and it almost always is a guy) is very,
  very into his crits. He stacks crit rating. He has an addon that tracks
  his highest crits. He may even have an addon that plays an annoying
  sound, like the Mortal Kombat "FINISH HIM!", whenever he crits. Sure,
  his hit rating is abysmal and he sucks on the DPS meters, but that
  doesn’t matter to this guy.
• Mating Call: See title.
• Habitat: Dueling people in front of Ironforge/Orgrimmar, never raiding because his hit rating is lower than Death Valley.

The Prima Donna Rogue

• Identification: This rogue feels that she is the star around which
  the guild revolves. She considers herself the most skilled player in
  the guild, and most deserving of raid spots, good items and constant
  attention. If she’s not number one on the damage meters, she will make
  excuses for her performance, and will often ask officers (if she’s not
  one herself) to bend rules for her. Eventually, she will get fed up and
  make a dramatic /gquit the moment anything goes wrong or progression
  slows down even slightly, and hop to a new guild with her tales of
  mistreatment.
• Mating Call: "Whatever would you guys do without me?"
• Habitat: Any major raiding guild with fast progression. This
  happens in every class, but it’s funniest in rogues — a prima donna
  main tank or top healer kind of has a point, but there are millions of
  rogues out there salivating for a raid slot.

The I Only Do DPS Rogue

• Identification: I’ve never seen this rogue myself, but it’s a pet
  peeve of one of my rogue mentors. Some rogues take the "Rogues have one
  job and that’s to DPS" stuff on the forums a little too seriously, and
  therefore refuse to stop DPSing to do anything else. This rogue might
  as well have only three buttons: Backstab/SS, Slice and Dice, and
  Rupture, because those are the only three he uses. He won’t feint or
  vanish because they’re wastes of energy, doesn’t know how to COS out of
  magic, refuses to kick and interrupt vital spells, and (of course)
  would never deign to bandage himself.
• Mating Call: "Can’t someone else interrupt the spells? I never have enough energy to kick, and it’s distracting."
• Habitat: Wiping your group on High King Maulgar, Shade of Aran, or Magtheridon.

The HEAL ME Rogue

• Identification: Once upon a time, I was in a guild with a skilled
  but rather young rogue. This rogue constantly badgered the healers to
  heal him, even when it was a tough fight and they were having enough
  trouble keeping up the tank. Amazingly, he also tended to die on trash
  mobs a lot more than every other rogue. A couple months after I noticed
  this, he was doing the "HEAL ME" thing again (this time in a private
  chat channel) when a druid told me why he died so often. Apparently, he
  had told a feral druid during a guild BRD fun run that he didn’t need
  the Hand of Justice because "druids can only heal." That, combined with
  his incessant cries for heals, led the druids to make a pact never to
  heal him. And since druids were mostly the guys who healed rogues on
  trash, he died a lot.
• Mating Call: "What are the healers doing back there, looking at porn?"
• Habitat: Any instance group, from 5-man to 40-man.

The Theorycrafting Rogue Who Failed Math

• Identification: This rogue has come up with a spec/gear/playstyle
  choice that isn’t accepted by the majority of rogues, and has decided
  to defend it with an onslaught of numbers . When other rogues point out
  a common-sense reason why his scheme won’t work, he comes at them with
  a gaggle of equations and then calls them morons. However, he has made
  some sort of basic calculation error that invalidates his whole
  premise. The quintessential example of this is a fairly progressed
  guild I’ve heard of where every single rogue dual-wielded Blinkstrike,
  because one of the rogue leaders had a malformed idea of how valuable
  the proc was.
• Mating Call: "It’s not my fault if you aren’t able to comprehend my work."
• Habitat: Almost exclusively rogue forums.

The But I Might Respec Rogue

• Identification: This rogue is specced for swords. No, wait, maybe
  maces. Ooh, that’s shiny — how about daggers today? Basically, she’s a
  rogue-specific version of a lootwhore. She claims any and all purple
  weapons, whether or not there’s another player in the raid who it would
  be a big upgrade for. If she’s using daggers and a nice sword drops,
  she’ll roll, since she was "only daggers until a good sword dropped" –
  even if there’s a sword rogue in the raid. Wash, rinse, and repeat for
  any other weapons. She’ll also take feral druid gear and hunter ranged
  weaons. The worst instance of this I’ve ever heard, although it may be
  apocryphal, was a rogue who rolled on an axe because "rogues can use
  axes in the next patch."
• Mating Call: "Why is everyone getting upset? It’s better than what I’m using right now."
• Habitat: Your Kara raid, waiting in the shadows for Malchazzeen.